Hope hurts

It's been a rollercoaster week. I feel like this situation has me constantly feeling up and down. We started talking again mid-week after clearing out what had happened and both of us apologizing. I'm glad we can talk because I consider him a great friend and I really missed him. I helped him get through a hard time at work, but strived to keep things strictly platonic. He slipped a bit, saying he wanted a hug from me and sneaking in some compliments. It definitely wasn't the same though. It felt forced and unnatural.

Saturday, I saw he posted that he had a "real date" that night. I'm sure with the same girl. I had kind of expected this, even though I was letting myself get my hopes up that maybe we still had a chance.

What killed me was what he said in his post. He was taking her out for a sushi dinner and then to a little wine bar and he was paying. This was the exact date he said he wanted to take me on. It's still hurting.

I was definitely obsessive the past few days, trying to find out how the date went. He's given me no clues and I can't bring myself to ask him outright. He's made a few vague comments that could possibly be construed in my favor, but I have to stop doing this to myself.

In the middle of the Super Bowl, out of nowhere, he said the dog rescue commercial made him think of me. Why is he still thinking about me?

I hate being in limbo. I just want to know one way or the other. I can't keep hoping for something that is never going to happen.